I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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