You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
