We're like a lot better than the average bears
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
i just opened a seperate checking account to keep track of how much i make and spend on our keggers
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
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