Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
And the night ended with some random dude pissing on a car in a vain attempt to find a proper bathroom. We, the drunk, salute you, sir!
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
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