I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
