"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
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