that's an acceptable place to lick
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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