So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
