Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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