I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
