she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
