Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
either way he was missing a nipple.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
I lost the right to judge tonight
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize