What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
Randomize
