It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I started having a bad trip because I closed my eyes and got lost in a forest of patterns and I knew my mom would be upset.
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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