I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
