I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Reading my bank statement stoned makes me feel like an adult.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
