dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
