on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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