This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
Randomize
