She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
I used the light from the first guy's text notification to be able to snapchat the second guy in the dark. I am too good at juggling guys.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
