Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
In hindsight, drunkenly yelling "I'M TICKLISH" might not have been an entirely wise decision
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
and you fell through a lawn chair
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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