well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
he was wearing a pyjama shirt under a dress shirt under a hoodie under a robe under a rain poncho the man was prepared for anything
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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