Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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