Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
We need to get fucked up again and play games like "save the tequila but dodge the knife"
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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