Swine flu. Run for my life!
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Those tiny little fruit fly looking mofos. They fly past the phone and I grabbed them like Daniel-San
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
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