have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
I'm like a savant for remembering names I learned while I was drunk. Seriously, I'm three for three. I'm on a roll.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Randomize
