my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Randomize
