Swine flu. Run for my life!
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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