he puts the penis in happiness.
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
