batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
Randomize
