kristin has been a bad kristin
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
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