Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
When I woke up next to him on the living room floor, my glasses were broken and it felt like someone rubbed a cactus all over my vag
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize