I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
