explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
