Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(937): View more from Ohio

I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

she sounds like chewbacca in bed

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(256): View more from Alabama

There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??

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(618): View more from Illinois

It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.

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(317): View more from Indiana

The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.

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(626): View more from California

I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

WE ARE DOOMED.

(774): View more from Massachusetts

And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.

(860): View more from Connecticut

it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure

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(563): View more from Iowa

Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?

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