Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
