I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
Randomize
