Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
So what if is hockey, you don’t turn down sex with a professional athlete. They work out all day and have amazing stamina. Your vagina will thank you!
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