a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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