Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
Randomize