hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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