I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
