Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Thats the last time im "arresting" you to get out of paying your bar tab.
What?! The only reason I married your sister is to have a Cop in the family!
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
Randomize
