Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
You fucked him, didn’t you?
He showed up at my house with tacos, rum and a negative Covid test. Of course I fucked him. I’m just a simple girl that likes tacos, not Margaret Thatcher!
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