look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
Randomize
