Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
No need to clean the puke on the driveway. The squirrel is eating it up.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
It's 2017. Get with the program. Also remind me never to get margaritas with you ever on Cinco de Mayo.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
Randomize
