So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
The fool I made of myself at the Ugly Christmas Sweater party last night was surpassed this morning when I walk of shamed 6 miles at 7am with one mysterious wet leg and no pants on. I think my mom saw me and waved.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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