Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
