I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I truly don't know anything about sober relationships. Normally I would just drunkenly yell "sex?" in a guy's face. What do I do now? Be like, sooo uhhh, wanna do it? Awkward, and even worse, I will remember clearly just how awkward it was.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
