thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize
