Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
