i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
Randomize
