I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I think these people may actually be nudists. You know it's bad when I feel uncomfortable.
I think I'm too tall to 69 successfully.
I think I might cry.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
