It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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