so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
