Like my Aunt Merial always says ... big dicks, big dicks.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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