left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I just smoked weed with my physics professor. Tell me how my life is this.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
I may have broke the toilet masturbating. On a positive note the floor is really clean now.
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
