she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
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